Pain and Bed Pans...Not Exactly a Love Story

8-24-17

I have finally gotten them to understand that I need to heal a little more before they constantly try and make me stand in physical therapy. They are finally starting to understand my pain as they hear my blood curdling screams when anyone examines my wounds. Finally, they realize I have been in the hospital on and off for almost the entire year because I am not doing well. Jeeze, it only took me 8 months to get them to realize that…

8-25-17

The worst part about being in the hospital? Other than the obvious of being sick and in pain is that I have to use a bed pan. So every time I need to go to the bathroom I hit the nurse call button in my room and someone comes in and puts me on a bed pan so…I am basically peeing while lying down in bed. So now every morning, and I do mean every morning I was up having one of those dreams that I have to pee and I am looking for a bathroom and blah blah blah and the thing is, before I got sick I subconsciously knew that I had to wake up and walk to the bathroom. Now I just basically pee in the bed so I wake up every morning in a panic feeling the mattress and sheets to see if I peed. It may sound weird but I honestly feel like every morning that I have peed the bed. So far, so good, I have always been dry. Yay.

Me: If you try to draw blood from any vein in my hand the vein will blow.

Nurse: I got this.

Me: If you try to draw blood from any vein in my hand the vein will blow.

Nurse: I found a good vein right here below the knuckle.

Me: If you try to draw blood from any vein in my hand the vein will blow.

Nurse: Honey I do this all day long every day.

Me: If you try to draw blood from any vein in my hand the vein will blow.

Nurse: Well look at that, the vein blew. I'll try the other hand.

Me: GET OUT!